HAPPY NEW YEAR! Now Get Your Fat Ass In There And Change

One New Year’s Eve I went out to dinner with a friend. We had a good time eating, laughing, just killing time till I had to meet the guy I was dating. After dinner I went over to my boyfriends place because we were going to a party at his friend’s house. I was wearing this baby doll tee and a button shirt open over it. But I was feeling like maybe the t-shirt was a little tight.

I walk in the door at my boyfriend’s place and asked him if he thought my shirt was a little tight. And this is the response I got, “Oh ya it’s way too tight. When you walked in the door I thought “Oh God” (as he scrunched up his face like he just saw a pile of dog shit) I can’t believe you even wore that. God (again with the face).” As I stand there in shock I say “I didn’t think I looked that bad, I wore this to work so one said anything.” He says “Oh ya it’s bad. Where did you and Mandy eat?” So I tell him JD’s (I like their Mexican food). He then says “That’s why you look the way you do all that Mexican food you eat (the dog shit face again). We have an hour before we have to leave so you have time to go home and change.” By the time these words finished leaving his mouth I was walking my fat ass back out the door.

He yells “HEY! Where are you going?”, and runs outside after me. I tell him, “There’s no way in Hell I’m going out with you tonight.”  I get in my car and he starts pounding on my door but I wouldn’t open it, so he jumps behind my car. What a fool cuz I’ll run over a stupid mother fucker, I won’t hesitate. So I back up, and keep backing up, and then really start giving it some gas as I back up. All of a sudden THUMP! So I stop. He comes limping up to my window but I wouldn’t roll it down. He starts whining, “You ran over my foot, you gotta take me to the hospital.” I figured if I did run over his foot I was probably going to jail so I roll down my window to talk to him only to find out the fucker was lying. He was just trying to get me to roll my window down.

As soon as it was down enough he lunged in my car hanging half way in trying to kiss me, “Come on baby, I love you, I want to go to this party with you. Just hurry up and go home and change.” Stupid fucker, at this time I was willing to go to jail so I hit the gas. He’s half way in my window, jogging beside my car and I’m kicking up the speed. So he starts screaming “STOP STOP you’re making me run!” So I say “are you going to get the fuck out of my car?” When he said yes, I stopped. He got his sorry ass out and I drove away. But wait, it didn’t end there!

I needed to calm down so I just start driving around town. He started calling me and leaving me messages “Come on baby I love you, just hurry up and change so we can go” “ Baby I  love you for who you are not what you look like” “I’m sitting outside your place right now, where are you? Change baby and we can go to this party” I heard that one and bypassed my place and went to the roller rink to see another friend.

Once I got there I started trying to tell her what happened and I’m bawling and bawling. I already have insecurities and this dude just made me feel like the fattest ugliest thing on earth. While I’m sitting there with her he’s still calling “We can still make the party if you just change, I love you, where are you?” “I’m at the party and my friends are asking where you are, they think you don’t like them” No you stupid fuck, it’s you I can’t stand, I actually like your friends.

Well my friend gets me calmed down we go over to Wal-mart where I run into a guy who used to hang around my boyfriend. So I tell him what happened. And he says, “Erica I’m going to tell you something about _______ he’s a really nice guy, but he’s just not that bright.” Damn he’s right. So then my girlfriend starts saying, “He can’t help it he’s stupid. (In this lispsy funny voice)” So that got me laughing.

As pathetic as I am though I decide I didn’t want to spend New Years alone, but I’ll be damned if I was taking my fat ass to any parties. So I go over to this guy’s place and just watch TV, thinking I’ll wait till he gets there. He called me again and this time I answered. He’s going on and on how he loves me and asked where I was. When I said his place he came right home. So as the countdown began, we were laying on the couch holding each other.  I told him he had really hurt my feelings. And he responds, “Well don’t ask a question you don’t want an honest answer to.” Goddamn stupid mother fucker. I hate him. I mean some serious hatred here. HAHAHAHAHA