Anyone who knows me knows I have food issues. I wish I was joking but I seriously think I need therapy. There’s been many times that I threw something away at home only to grab it from the top of the trash later. Such as a half-eaten candy bar, stale chips, etc. There was even one time that Conrad was eating an ice cream cone, the kind with the chocolate in the bottom. He hadn’t eaten all of it and said he was done and tossed it in the trash. Well I snatched that sucker up and bit the bottom off. Hell there was a night I was at dinner with some friends and not only did I finish my margarita, my friend’s margarita’s, but the one girl had brought someone I didn’t even know and I’ll be damned if I didn’t finish theirs also! Ok, that might be more of a drinking problem than a food problem.

 Several years ago I worked for this company that would once in a while bring us in treats. Sometimes it would be lunch, maybe popcorn, all kinds of goodies. Well one day they gave us Cookie Cottage cookies. I love these cookies soooo much that I don’t even share them with my children. We were each given two cookies and I scarfed mine in a heartbeat. Later that day I went to the restroom, did my business and washed my hands. When I walked over to the paper towel dispenser I noticed right on top of the trash there was a cookie. Not just any cookie…a Cookie Cottage cookie! It still had the wax paper around it. So I looked around and there wasn’t anyone else in there with me. My mind kept telling me not to do it, but I couldn’t stop myself. I slowly reached into the trash, hating myself the whole time, and picked up the cookie.

 Still looking around to make sure no one came in, I removed the wax paper, my mouth was already watering. Well just my luck the damn thing was a plain sugar cookie and it had a big bite taken out of it. So I tossed it back into the trash and turned around only to find myself looking right into the mirror. And that’s when the horror of what I had just done came rushing in. “My God, did I really just take a cookie from the trash at work? In the bathroom!?!?!?!” I said out loud. Humiliated I ran back to my desk hoping no one at work realized what I had almost done. Thankfully it wasn’t a chocolate chip cookie, because honestly, I would have eaten the damn thing. HAHAHAHAHAHA