Okay, maybe it’s just me and I’m a prude. But can someone please explain to me the fascination guys have with trying to stick their dicks in my ass? Seriously, I’m not kidding. From my very first boyfriend it seems to be the goal of every guy I date. Now I know there are many men and women out there who love ass fucking. Hell when I sold sex toys I sold more than one butt plug and set of anal beads to couples. But I’m not one of them. Oh I know some of you are thinking, “Just try it you’ll love it”. Well guess what, I have, I didn’t, and I don’t. Actually it makes me kind of jealous when I hear a woman say she loves it. Hell she has more than one way to get off and poor little me is just left with the plain old normal way.

I remember this one gay friend telling me (God I love this quote), “Girl I have a clit in my ass like a chick has in her pussy and it feels sooooo good!” Now that shit REALLY makes me jealous. I was at this party one time and a bunch of us got on the subject of butt fucking. So I say to the guy I was dating, “Look if you want to stick your dick in my ass so bad then let me stick something up yours”. He decides to ask his guy friends if they’d let their women do that. It was so fucking funny to find out how many of these guys actually let women “milk their prostate”. There was this one dude 6’3” who said “It’s okay to have a chick stick her finger up your ass when she’s giving you a blowjob, feels kind of good”. It was hilarious.

Now when I was in my younger years I had a boyfriend who talked me into it. I bled, hurt like Hell, and I didn’t like it one bit. So I swore I’d never do it again. So then I date the next guy and he tries to talk me into it. He’s saying all the normal shit, “If you love me you’d try it. How do you know you don’t like it unless you try it? Blah blah blah”. Well shit I can’t tell the dude I HAVE tried it and can’t stand it. I was afraid I would look whorish. So I’d play the ass virgin and figured I’d do it, bleed and cry and he’d never want to do it again. That worked, until I dated the next guy. And then the next.  After awhile I got damn tired playing the ass virgin just to get out of it because honestly it didn’t seem to work. And it’s not like there was a ton of guys you perverts, but you get the gist. As I aged I realized I needed to just stick up for myself and say no.

So then I dated this guy who was just fascinated with trying to fuck my ass. It was all he talked about. At first I’d played coy, “No, I don’t think so.” “It will hurt” ect. Of course he used all the old coercion techniques “Oh you’ll love it” “You’ll cum so hard” “I’ve been with lots of other girls that loved it” “How do you know you don’t like it unless you try it”. Finally after months and months of being badgered I told this freak, “Look I have tried it, I don’t like it.” “It hurts, I bleed and it makes me feel degraded.” “If those other chicks loved it then go fuck them in the ass.” “Look I don’t want a dick in my ass, a finger in my ass or a tongue in my ass. As a matter of fact pretend my ass doesn’t exist.” From this entire litany the only damn thing this guy walked away with was that I’d tried it before. So for the remainder of our relationship damn dude would beg, plead, even try to guilt me into it. If I didn’t allow him to fuck my ass I must not love him. Ya, guess not. Hell if we made a bet over something that’s what he always wanted his prize to be. Too damn bad it wasn’t going to happen. I’m a grown damn woman now. So after that relationship ended I decided to weed out those ass fuckers on the first damn date.

Yes I know, who in the hell would talk about ass fucking on the first date? Well anyone that knows me knows the answer to that. I’m not shitting you. This has now become first date material for me. Right along with tell me about your family, your job, likes and dislikes. Do you like butt fucking? Now don’t ask me how in the Hell I get a conversation around to this topic, it just does. So if a guy give me any indication that he sees my butt as a challenge, a prize to be won, or says something like “Oh you’ll do it again” with a wink and a nod, I can hear a big ass buzzer in my head and the dude’s out. Of course I don’t get a lot of second dates. But that’s okay. I don’t get any more dicks in my ass either and that works for me.