I was washing my hands in the bathroom at a local community college one day. Standing at the sink next to me was this other student. She’s was tall, pretty, young, looked like an average college student. She was washing her hands too. Well she proceeds to blow her nose into her left hand!!! Not into a tissue, not a paper towel but into her left hand. Then she rinses her hand off, lifts up her head and looks up her nose. She must have seen something because she blew her nose into her hand again. Then she looks over at me. I just finished washing my hands and got the hell out of there.

 I’m telling you women in public bathrooms are gross. There was another time at college that I went in, sat down (I always line the seat with toilet paper) and look over to my right and there is blood all over the bathroom stall wall. Not a couple drops either, huge smears of blood! Now how in the hell do you get blood on the wall? Was a woman like whipping her ass back and forth or what? Or was she trying to see if her tampon would stick? I mean really, blood? I still don’t understand that.

Just recently at work there was blood on the floor of the bathroom stall I had unfortunately chosen. It wasn’t even in front of the toilet, like the chick pulled her pants down and didn’t realize she had started. It was over to the side a bit, like she stood there looking down wondering what the fuck she was going to do. Of course she could have just been trying to create an inkblot test for those who ventured into the stall after her.

But here’s another one. How in the hell do people get shit on the back of the toilet seat? The back!? My asshole is not that far back. Are they like sitting on the clear back of the toilet seat? For what!? And do they not see the shit when they get up? Do they wipe and run? I’m sorry but I will turn around and make sure the toilet flushes. not that I want to see my own shit but I sure as hell don’t want anyone else seeing it either.

When I worked at a very large annuity company the women there were nasty also. Shit all over the seat. Or on the wall! The fucking WALL!!!! Like they wiped and got shit on their hand so they wiped it on the wall!!!! These were adult women! And they worked for a HUGE company! Things like this would always happen though.

Another thing that irritates me, I could be the only one in the bathroom with ten stalls, all open but mine. But it never fails that a woman has to come in and take the stall next to me and start taking a shit. I personally would go to the farthest away, but no, not the women I run into. Maybe they think they need a friend? There was this one time that this woman would flush every time she grunted. Like I didn’t know what the hell she was doing. Flushing every five seconds was more annoying than listening to her.

Now don’t get me wrong. There have been times that I just couldn’t help myself and had to go in a public bathroom. I was at Walmart one time and it hit me. I go in and there’s no one in there, great! Well I’m sitting there and a worker comes in and starts cleaning so I’m sitting there waiting. Well she’s sweeping the stalls to my left. Then she skips my stall and goes to the stalls on my right. Then (I’m not kidding you) she sticks her broom under my stall door, between my legs and sweeps my stall while I’m sitting there shitting. Had I not been so shocked I would have asked what the hell she was doing and couldn’t she wait two minutes? But I was stunned. So she finished cleaning and left. I wiped my ass and slunk out of the bathroom hoping to god she didn’t remember what my shoes looked like.

All I’m really saying is save the sick shit for your own personal bathroom at home. I really don’t need to be afraid of getting hepatitis in the bathroom or touching a door knob after seeing someone use their hand as a Kleenex. I wasn’t even raised by my mother and I STILL have more common sense than some of these women. Which that thought actually makes me wonder, are

men’s restrooms just as bad?