Back when I was younger I was dating a man who was at least ten years older than I. Being young and stupid I didn’t quite know how to react to some of his, hmmm, how shall I say, his sexual proclivities. For instance, shortly after we started dating we were lying in bed and somehow the subject came up about guys who could suck their own dicks. He proceeds to tell me he could suck his. I must have gotten an odd look on my face when he said this because he quickly added, “You know you would lick your own pussy if you could.” If you were wondering…No I wouldn’t. Of course I said ya right. He rolled up in a ball with his head on the bed, his back against the headboard and his legs flipped over his head touching the bed. Now I can’t honestly say I saw him put his dick in his mouth. Probably because I soon left the room. But the fact he tried made me start to wonder.

There was another time we were making out on my couch. I was lying on top of him and we were getting so into it I thought we’d have to strip and attack each other right there. It was getting hot and heavy, he’s kissing my neck, rubbing me. Then he whispers in my ear, “I want to cum in your mouth and have you share it with me.” I didn’t know what the Hell to think so I just ignored his comment. But trust me; my mind was no longer thinking of sex. I was wondering what the fuck he was talking about. What guy would want to taste his own cum??? Honestly in my early 20’s I didn’t know what the Hell “snowballing” was. I had to ask my friends.  Made me wish I hadn’t.

Shortly after that experience he was out of town and we were having phone sex. I’m talking dirty as Hell. Really enjoying myself, making all kinds of orgasm sounds, saying the nastiest stuff possible. Of course in reality I was sitting there in my pajamas. But hey it’s all play right? Well he’s talking to me about what he’s doing to himself. I could tell he was really getting into it, louder breathing, noises, and moans. I’m sure he wasn’t in HIS jammies. Right when I could tell he’s losing it he shouts, “Oh I’m cuming! I’m cuming! Oh it’s getting in my mouth! I can taste it! Oh yeaaaaaaa!!!” I pulled the phone away from my face and looked at it like, “What the fuck did he just say?”

But it wasn’t until the day I walked into my living room and found him naked on the floor that I thought he might be freaky. Dude was lying on his back, legs up in the air, spreading his ass cheeks apart with his hands, yelling “LICK MY ASSHOLE!!! LICK MY ASSHOLE!!!” I didn’t know what the fuck to do. And well, being young and in shock I licked the man’s asshole. Give me a break. Like you’ve never liked an ass.

Now that I’m older, wiser, more mature, I’ll tell a fucker to get the Hell out. I’ve made more than one man cry. Damn that’s bad. But you know what? At this point in life it’s all about me. Well, it would be if I were getting any. At any rate, at least there’s no more ass licking in my foreseeable future.