Awhile back I decided to surprise the man I was dating and get a Brazilian bikini wax. Now for those of you who don’t know what this is I’ll explain. Where a normal bikini wax will leave a strip of pubic hair the Brazilian wax removes ALL the hair from below. The bush in the front, the hair on the lips, and (for those unfortunate ladies) the hair on their ass. Anyone that shaves knows that when the hair starts growing back it’s itchy and very stubbly. Well a Brazilian wax makes you very soft. And from what I had heard, men loved it. So I found a place here in Decatur that would do one.

I was nervous as hell when I went in. The girl who was going to do my wax was this cute little petite thing. She tells me to undress from the waist down. Made me a little uncomfortable, but she was about to see my crotch anyway right? So I’m lying on the table and she puts this wax on my crotch. RIP!!!! Tears that hair right out. My God it hurt like hell. So she’s soon done with my bush (and no it wasn’t really a bush bush, just saying that so you’d know the general area). Then she wanted to start on my lips. She asks me to raise my leg and pull my lips real tight. There I am basically spread out on this table. Leg all jacked up in the air, reaching behind me to my crotch and pulling my fucking puss all tight. I had to do the reach around because she was working in the front. I was so mortified, but what the hell could I do. This cruel bitch is just jabbering away ripping my damn hair out. I’m telling you the worst part it the lips, that’s not an area for wax, I’m just saying. She had me flipping every which way, (in positions I’ve never even had a man put me in) and pulling my skin. I was so glad when she was done with the wax. Then came the tweezers.

She gets her face right up in my crotch looking for stray hairs that might have been missed. I’m telling you by the time this chick was done with me I was as smooth as a baby. And, NO, all you pervs she wasn’t gay or being sexual. I asked her how she felt in this line of work, and she said it’s just a job, you get used to it. I’m sorry I could never get used to it, not doing it or getting it done. That shit hurt. I walk out of there, my crotch a little pink and raw, and a little bloody in a few spots, and waddled to the car. Very weird feeling with no damn hair at all.

About a week later I was at Vinnie’s and who do you think I ran into? That girl that waxed me! She’s just talking away like I was her best friend, asking if my guy liked the wax .  All I could think of was this chick had her face inches from my crotch. Thank God I don’t have a stanky snatch. HAHAHAHA