I’m really not a Christmas person. Kind of detest it if you ask. This year I didn’t even put a tree up. Now I know what most of you are thinking, how in the world can anyone hate Christmas? Well Christmas has never been a fun filled holiday for me. It brings back nightmares of my grandma giving me training bras. HAHA. Actually looking back, I wish my Christmas’s were filled with training bras. It would be better than the shit I get now.

I had been dating this guy for quite awhile, long enough to think maybe I’d get some bling bling for Christmas, maybe lingerie, expensive perfume, something nice. At least take my kids out to pick out a gift for me. Well Christmas morning comes and my kids are opening their gifts, I give this guy his presents. I always go overboard with not only my kids, but anyone I’m dating. So I had bought this guy about 10 things, really fucking nice ones spent about $500 on him. With each gift he got as excited as a kid. Then it’s my turn.

He sits down beside me and hands me this package. One present. But I’m not greedy; it’s the thought that counts right? Well it was too big for jewelry and too heavy for lingerie. I like all sorts of things so I’m shaking it, trying to guess. What could it be? I slowly unwrap it, getting excited while I do. And open a package of fucking silverware. NO I’m not joking. This mother fucker gave me silverware for our first Christmas together. I sat there just stunned. I was so hurt and so pissed I can’t even describe it. So I ask “Why the fuck would you give me silverware?” His response “Well I can never find a fork when I’m here.” So I tell him “If you want to give someone fucking silverware you hand it to them any old day of the week and say “here baby I was thinking of you” you don’t wrap it as a Christmas gift! Especially your first Christmas together!”

So to break it down in a clearer perspective, he got very thoughtful gifts and I was given a package of twenty dollar silverware. This man made almost $20 an hour, no kids, no ex-wife, no house so he had money and he couldn’t even throw in pans with the Goddamn silverware. I should have stabbed him in the damn eye with a fork. No wonder why I hate dating. Men are fucking morons