Many years ago I had a crush, okay obsession, on the one and only Jerry Springer. Now don’t ask me why, who the Hell knows. I drank a lot back then HAHA. Every chance I got I would watch his show. The chant of “JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!” often filled my house. I’m sure I have friends who still remember this. I remember one night I was watching and a young Zachary piped up “are you sssuuurrreee Jerry Springer isn’t my father?” He’s funny, well… Anyway a few friends and I decided we were going to go to a taping of a show.

I ordered the tickets and was so excited when they came in the mail. My friend Zoranna and I were going to drive to Chicago where we’d meet a couple of other friends. Then the four of us were going to see Jerry. We left Fort Wayne in plenty of time and we were singing and laughing and having a Hell of a time. We drove for almost two hours. I didn’t realize I was going in the wrong direction till we saw a damn sign for Ohio. Yes my friends that’s right, my sorry ass took 30 till I hit Ohio. By then we realized we had to be in Chicago in an hour and a half or I’d miss Jerry. So I floored that car all across the upper part of the state. I don’t know how in the Hell I didn’t get pulled over or in a wreck but by golly we made it.

Zoranna and I rushed to the building where the studio was and couldn’t figure out how to get into the building from the parking garage. Well this guy came out a back door and was standing there smoking a cigarette. So I walked over and starting asking him how we get in when I saw it… “OH MY GOD ZORANNA HE”S WITH JERRY SPRINGER” This guy was a young hottie and it didn’t hurt I was pretty cute too 15 years ago (I had red hair, a half shirt, and a bright red pleather coat haha). So this guy takes us in the back way and we get in the line to get into the show. Our friends meet up with us and I start getting excited as Hell. After waiting about an hour our turn came. And the fucking woman told us that they were full!!!! “BUT WE HAVE TICKETS!!!” I sobbed. She said they send out more tickets than seats because not everyone shows up. I was about ready to cry then I saw the guy who let us in!!! I ran over to him and told him what happened. Of course I was near tears and holding onto his shirt as if it were a desperate situation. He asked me to wait and he would go see what was up. He comes back after a few minutes and asked if we could come back for the next show in about two hours. Hell yes we could!

When we came back the hot young guy (had I been smarter I would have been all over him) came and got us and took us in the studio. We were placed in the front row right in the center. I can’t even tell you how it felt. I was beyond excited. My friends thought I was going to hyperventilate. Jerry Springer came out and started shaking our hands. I grabbed his hand with both of mine and practically pulled his arm off. Zoranna said she was afraid I wasn’t going to let him go HAHA.

After the show it came time for pictures. My God it couldn’t get more exciting. But anyone that had a camera and wanted to get their picture with Jerry Springer could. So I stood in line and waited my turn. When I got up there I just told him how much I loved him and how excited I was. He took my face in his hands, told me I was so sweet, and kissed me right smack on the lips. I thought I was going to die! Then we wrapped our arms around each other like a pair of old lovers and I got my picture. Notice in the pic above you can’t see his hands (hee hee).

Of course this was many years ago. And eventually my crush on Jerry Springer went away. I haven’t watched a show in years. But sometimes late at night as I’m switching channels, I’ll pause when I hear “JERRY JERRY JERRY” and wonder if he remember me and our one second affair. HAHAHAHAHA

Jerry Springer